You smell like stripper and shame
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
