who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
