do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
