would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Who did Billy Mays play for?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
