it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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