y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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