Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
