He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
