she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
