Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
