he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
