she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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