I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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