I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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