Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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