i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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