I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
