i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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