yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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