Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
