I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
