Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
