we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
