we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
