youre lurking in front of me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
