I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
