You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
