last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
