I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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