She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
