so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize