My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
