what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
