i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
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I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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