I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
