he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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