Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
