i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.