Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?