Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.