I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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