You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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