id be glad to
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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