You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
