Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
