I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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