chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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