you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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