His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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