Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize