Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize