Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
