I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..