so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
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Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.