Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail