I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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