I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
