I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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