im holly from the hills drunk
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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