I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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