I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.