Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"