Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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