he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.