I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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