Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
