you guys were way drunker than both of me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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